he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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