I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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