Porn is love you can see.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
