You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
