He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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