Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
