Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
