Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
