so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So many bounce houses so little time
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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