dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
