I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
