I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
