He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
