Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
