Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
