Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
