i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
