you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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