If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
