i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
