have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
