you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
