I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
