At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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