butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
