did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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