I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
