Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
