I wanna passion pit in your ass
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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