Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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