Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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