Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
