Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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