Can Purell be used as lube?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
