So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize