Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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