My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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