ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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