dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
