Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
