Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Drake has all the answers
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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