Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
