Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
