He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
