Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
