absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
