i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Watching her eat just hurts me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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