and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sorry about my life...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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