i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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