i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
