woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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