'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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