He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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