My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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