Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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