you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
