i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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