are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
