Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
