Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
