I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
