Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
