I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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