I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
