I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize